My mom, that is. How classy is she? So classy that she shares a birthday with the Queen Mother (may she rest in peace). And today is that special day! Happy Birthday, Mom! Since I can't volunteer to teach Bible School or Sunday School right now, I figured the next best way to give you a thrill would be to go have some fancy tea at a proper English tea house. So here I am at Betty's in York sipping Ceylon Blue Sapphire (and only slouching a little bit, look!). I'm sure you were there in spirit because what else could have motivated me to make a spectacle out of myself and take this cheesy picture in a busy public place? Cheers to you on your special day. I love you, Ma!
4 comments:
susie -
you are one classy daughter, and I should know, right? Ceylon Blue Sapphire, eh? I'll have to look for that here. Thank you, sweetie, you do look lovely!
:)
Mom
Speaking of class, here's one for you Billings-style:
Headline: Vomit kommt es? Local Billings family experiences a drive-by up-chucking.
Summary: Apparently some fine local speciman wanted to provide you with a realtime example of the phrase "crusty botch of nature" by blowing chunks on the side of your car.
Reinteration: Yes, that's right. An innocent morning walk to your car across the street led to the mind-boggling (yet, really that surprising?) discovery that the driver's side of your Grand Map had been visited by Picasso of Peristalsis sometime during the night. Luckily for Whittles, he was a tidy fellow and managed to keep all but a few droplets off of the street. Good thing your car was there.
Bonus insert: Dad provding a reinactment of what a 'drive-by up-chucking' might look like while standing in the middle of Lewis Ave, spotlighted by the morning sun. I think I smell an Oscar nomination....mmmm...nope [sniff sniff] that's just human puke.
Dedication: To you, Ralph Billings, because some things are just better the second time around.
I tried really hard to pretend that I didn't find any of the puke humor funny, but I just ended up busting a gut in the internet cafe, and now everyone here thinks I have problems. ONLY on my car. Classic. I don't believe this. No. Actually, I do. Poor Grand Map! Uh, PS, I don't know if I pointed out the sticker in the window, but it's due for an oil change...
and you had to write about it on Mom's birthday post! When I was being classy and having tea! I'm sure Mom, The Tea, and I are all very scandalized!
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